Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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