I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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