Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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