Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
