Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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