Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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