DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
