Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
