I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His nipple licking is glorious
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