Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
