It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
