I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
