so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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