i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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