I think I am morally bankrupt
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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