I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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