when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
