Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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