Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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