You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
