What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
