i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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