So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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