she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
