I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
