She's JV to your varsity
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
