so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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