all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
