I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
