it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
