Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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