YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
