Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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