you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she looked like the before picture.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
