Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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