I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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