Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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