Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
