I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
