do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
