wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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