i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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