I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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