He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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