i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize