i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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