brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
