i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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