WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
