she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize