I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize