We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
