I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize