I accidentally had phone sex last night
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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