you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
