So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
