can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
