I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize