my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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