Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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