im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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