And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
