come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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