i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
