yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
