I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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