No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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