It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
